As promised…a silly story. First, let me thank everyone who contributed to this silly story…without you, this would not be possible 
Second, any resemblance to real persons is coincidental…for the most part Last, thank you all for the laughter you brought with your magnificent hyperboles For your reading pleasure…a silly story
Once upon a time there was a women who swallowed a fly because it landed in her porridge. Normally, she wouldn’t be so careless but she was so hungry that she could have eaten a horse along with it’s reigns and saddle. Distraught, she went outside and sat on a bench where the suns burning glare was so hot that it melted her shoes onto the concrete and she was sure that she would melt to the floor, sizzle and be no more. Suddenly, the fly began to buzz around. Realizing she needed medical attention, she peeled herself off the pavement, jumped 100 feet into her monster truck and drove over traffic to get to the doctor. It was as busy as Grand Central Station at Christmas. There was a waiting room full of people who had eaten flies. The woman had to wait so long that her feet rooted into the ground. Finally, she was called and the doctor apologized for the wait and explained he had been utterly thwarted by the dreadful uber-villain known as malpractice but promised that he would not let the fly lay eggs in her stomach. Slightly concerned by his comment, the woman decided to take her chances and she ran outside where it was raining cats, dogs, and frogs. In fact it was raining so hard that the neighboring building had begun constructing a boat to keep the plethora of animals in. The woman slipped on a cat and fell. As she screamed a very small frog jumped in her mouth and with it’s long tongue it ate the fly. Relieved, she headed out to her car.
There was a sea of cars in the parking lot so she jumped on the nearest bull. Bull riding was a hobby for her. Just when she thought the bull had been tamed, around the corner came a girl in red cape being chased by a wolf. The bull became agitated and threw the woman a million miles into the air. When she finally came down she landed on a cactus and it felt like a thousand arrows had been shot directly into her bottom. Oddly, the cactus was in the middle of a baseball field. A game was in progress. She thought I can see Sam I Am, the famous baseball player. He asked her to join in the pickup game and she was so excited about playing that she forgot all about the pain and picked up a bat.
As she got in positon, Sam I Am waltzed over to the pitchers mound and began his wind-up. He felt a surge of inhuman strength pulse through his legs and arms as he unleashed a fastball that rocketed unseen past her. She swung the bat and missed. The speed of the ball tore the mitt from the catcher’s hand. He pitched a second ball that she hit into the out field where it was caught by the team manager, who was building a fort with all the paperwork he had to file because of the catcher’s broken hand. As she was running for home plate she realized that off in the distance was (x-3)^2/25 – (y+1)^2/49 = 1, y^2/9 – (x+2)^2 = 1, a perfect circle. The perfect circle made her think of her dog, spot. Spot would chase his tail for hours in a perfect circle.
The woman realized she had not fed her beloved dog for a million years. Determined to make it home before spots bones turned to dust, she threw her purse strap over the field lights and began to swing but that’s another story
Thanks for reading my brain splatter and I hope you enjoyed this silly story.
