Scars serve such a great purpose, don’t they? Let me back up. There was a time I saw them as physical imperfections, emotional imperfections, things to hide, eliminate. It’s amazing what age does for your perspective.
I only have three physical scars and they are categorized like this: 1. Scar of disobedience. 2. Scar of obedience. 3. Scar of faith / trust. When I really think about it, all emotional scars fall into those same categories. Let me explain as briefly as I can.
My first physical scar is above my left eye. When I was around 7 I got a pretty nasty case of chicken pox and my mom said not to scratch them or they would leave a scar. She was right, that scar above my left eye is there because I didn’t obey my mom. No one really sees it because make-up makes it vanish.
My second physical scar is on my left leg. My brothers job was to take out the trash but for some reason he wasn’t home so my mom asked me to help take it out. I picked up the bag and carried it out (this was before color coded trash bins when you just took the big black bags to the curb and the guys come by, got out of the truck and threw the bags in). About halfway across the lawn I felt what I thought was a scratch. As I walked back across the lawn I felt something moist. I looked down and it was blood. A broken plate had pierced the bag and my leg. The cut was about 2 inches long and 3/4 of an inch deep. I was about 12 or 13 when it happened. That scar is one of obedience and the worst of the three.
My third and last physical scar is on my right arm and it happened a couple years ago. I decided to take the short way back to the road because I have rock climbed for years so I lept from rock to rock where necessary. That last rock was a doozie. I don’t remember much to be honest. I looked, stepped, opened my eyes and was sliding down a hill in Africa on my stomach and my first thought was I need to stop or I’m going over edge and that’s bad. I don’t remember falling, landing, anything between stepping and then opening my eyes. I stood up and said I’m fine, let’s go. Didn’t see the blood running down my arm, the rock embedded in my hand, etc. It didn’t hurt because I was in shock but about 15 minutes later it was all I could do to not cry…I’m tougher than this. When all was said and done My mid section was scraped and bruised, most of my left side above the waist was bruised, both knees were bruised, my arm had quite a gash and both hands were scraped so a nurse picked rocks out of my hand and arm with a straight razor…they didn’t have pain killers or anything to numb it so I toughed it out. I got back in the van and could see the concern so to lighten the mood I looked to Monty Python and said “Tis but a flesh would”. The scar is not as visible as it was but it’s my favorite one because it is a scar of faith.
Throughout the years we all form emotional scars, barriers, walls…call them what you will. These scars are a big part of who we are. Every broken relationship thickens the scar because we don’t want to hurt like that again. Every friend who left because their parent got a new job in another state thickens the scar so we stop getting to close. Every death, expected or unexpected, thickens the scar because we don’t want to care because caring means enduring and staying strong for the person who’s dying, standing alongside their loved ones, silent. Every argument, every painful word said to us, every deception thickens the scars so we slowly begin to shut down, stop sharing, stop caring. We exist but nothing more. There has to be a better way.
What if we used the scars to teach us, build us, make us stronger, more loving, more caring, more accepting, more forgiving. What if we stopped letting the scars thicken? External scars fade over time sometimes so much that only we notice them. When I get ready the one above my eye reminds me to listen to others because I don’t know it all. The one on my leg reminds me that even when I’m doing the right thing bad things can happen but eventually those things will be brought to light and set right.
The greatest teaching scar is the one on my arm. The scar that was there before it was stopping me from doing but once I pushed past a new scar was formed, a scar that reminds me that the only way to get rid of a negative scar is to replace it with a positive one. I am grateful for those who helped me form that new scar….come to think of it, some of those have helped me form several new, positive scars.
What scars do you need to replace?
